Parents or Superheros? You decide...

I have a theory...PARENTS of young children are the basis for most superheroes. Take into account all of the superpowers that they possess.

There is super-hearing, enabling us to hear what our kids are doing all the way across the house, yet it is finely attuned, allowing us to ignore that obnoxious Barney or Elmo doll that they got for Christmas while still allowing us to hear squalls of pain or the sounds of an ensuing argument; X-ray and 360 degree vision, enabling us to see what they're up to, even if we're in a different room or have our back turned. Then, there's super-strength, allowing us to juggle a kid, a diaper bag and a basket of laundry up the stairs while another kid is clinging to our leg and the dog is trying to trip us.

We can move faster than a speeding bullet-when something is about to break, or the child is about to fall off of the bunk bed/chair/roof/other high and dangerous object that we told them not to climb on in the first place. We have ninja skills, appearing and disappearing noiselessly when our children least expect it, and catching objects flying through the air without even looking at them.

Also telepathic skills, allowing us to quickly rein in a rambuctious child with a single glance. And if that fails, for whatever reason, there is the sonic boom voice that will easily carry over a roomful of screaming 7 year olds in the middle of Chuck E. Cheeses'.

Extra arms and the ability to levitate objects would be nice though...